THE REAL NAME OF HIKO SEIJURO XIII
by MoMo-ChAn1
Summary: I'm evil, no da... Anyway, this is just a dumb fanfic that I thought up while I was at school. You know how the successor of the Hiten Mitsurugi Ryuu inherits the name Hiko Seijuro? Well, what was hiko-sama's name BEFORE he was hiko-sama?


A/N: I will beg you now. Don't kill me. Please. I don't wanna die! Forgive me! Forgive me! I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I love Hiko- sama just as much as anyone who really loves Hiko-sama (except for my friend Robin; she'd rip off my head if I didn't say that). I know that what I have done and what you will read is inhuman. But its funny, de gozaru! So please, send reviews. Flames or not, I don't care. Just don't kill me. OOCness.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin. Nobuhiro Watsuki does. Understand?  
  
The Real Name of Hiko Seijuro XIII: by MoMo-ChAn (occasional input from Aku- sama)  
  
"Kaoru-dono, I must go to Kyoto."  
  
Kaoru looked up from the food she was cooking. Since she had decided to get cooking lessons from Megumi, her food did not taste or look like crap anymore. Anyway, Kaoru was not happy when she heard this sentence.  
  
"Why do you have to go Kenshin? You've already beaten Shishio, and no one from the Aoiya has sent a letter to say there's a new evil threatening the country."  
  
Kenshin walked into the kitchen, looking very apologetic. "Sumanu, Kaoru-dono. But I must talk to Shishou. Something has been bothering me for the past two months."  
  
"What?"  
  
"I cannot tell you. You would not consider it important, de gozaru yo," said Kenshin, turning around to leave.  
  
"OH NO YOU DON'T!" shouted Kaoru, grabbing his shirt and causing him to "oro".  
  
While Kenshin was doing his best to get away from Kaoru without hurting her, Sano walked up, chewing on his fish bone and thinking of ways to ask Kaoru for money. Seeing Kenshin half out the door and struggling to get away, Sano was pretty sure Kaoru was there.  
  
"Oi, Jou-chan!" he shouted.  
  
Kaoru looked up, a firm grip on Kenshin's shirt. "What is it now Sanosuke?"  
  
Looking very sheepish, Sano stuck out his hand and smiled. "I need some money. Tae-san wants some money to pay off for some of the beef hot- pots from the Akabeko."  
  
Kaoru's grip loosened a little. "SANO! I don't have the time for this and no way in hell- KENSHIN!"  
  
Due to the god-like speed of the Hiten Mitsurugi Ryuu, our beloved red-headed rurouni was now nothing more than a dust cloud, shouting, "Gomen ne Kaoru-dono! I really must go to Kyoto! I'll see you in a few days, de gozaru!"  
  
A very angry Kaoru turned on Sano. "Toori-atama," she whispered dangerously, "if you ask me for money or food right now, I'll break both your arms and your legs."  
  
Sano grinned. "So, why's Kenshin going to Kyoto?"  
  
"Said something about having to ask his master about something, but he wouldn't tell me what it was." Kaoru's eyes widened. "THE RICE BALLS!" She ran back in the kitchen.  
  
Sano yelled into the kitchen, "Jou-chan! When'll we leave for Kyoto?"  
  
Kaoru shouted back, "In one hour! Don't forget to tell Yahiko and Megumi!"  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Kenshin walked in the forest. 'Oro,' he thought, 'I should have told Kaoru-dono why I was going. maybe we could've gone on the train.' His eyes narrowed as he looked around. No one. Then why did he have that funny feeling that he was going to be attacked.?  
  
"CHEEEEP!"  
  
"ORO!"  
  
It was a squirrel. But this squirrel didn't just jump in front of Kenshin. Oh no.  
  
It jumped on Kenshin's face.  
  
Screaming "ORO" and panicking like the hounds of Hades were chasing him, Kenshin ran. And ran, and ran, and ran, and ran, and ran, and ran. Then the squirrel, seeing a very healthy oak tree, jumped off of Kenshin's face and onto a branch, disappearing in the leaves. Kenshin, realizing there was no furry rodent on his face, realized too late that he was running straight toward a tree.  
  
SMASH.  
  
A swirly-eyed redheaded rurouni was unconscious. But he was still going, "Oro."  
  
Waking up about an hour later, Kenshin rubbed his head. "That HURT, de gozaru!" Then his eyes narrowed. Now he was sure that the presence he was feeling was not a squirrel. He could feel the swordsman spirits of many. A gang, probably after his money or sword.  
  
"That hurt, huh?" said a not-so-very-nice voice. "Then you don't know the meaning of pain, little girl."  
  
Eyes opening wide as plates, Kenshin said, "ORO?! I'M NOT A WOMAN, DE GOZARU YO! AND I'M NOT LITTLE!"  
  
Eight men appeared from behind the trees. One of them, seemingly the youngest and newest, peered at Kenshin's chest. "Hey, boss, I think she, er, he really is a guy!"  
  
Kenshin sighed. Stupid people. then again, maybe he needed a haircut. (Aku-sama: NO! He can't just cut his hair, he'll lose sex appeal.)  
  
The "boss" snarled. "Whatever!" he growled. "Just kill him and take whatever he's got! Well, what the hell are you waiting for?"  
  
"Right!" shouted the men. They got ugly looks on their faces and surrounded Kenshin.  
  
Kenshin, being Kenshin, just smiled. "There doesn't need to be a fight, de gozaru yo. I'll let you all go if you leave me alone."  
  
Laughing, the men circled in closer. Kenshin shrugged. "Have it your way."  
  
Eyes narrowing, Kenshin got into his stance. Not expecting that a puny shrimp like Kenshin could kick their sorry asses, one man moved in for the kill. Right when he was going to slice through Kenshin, Kenshin disappeared. Henchman #1 stopped. "What the."  
  
"RYU TSUI SEN!"  
  
Descending from the heavens, Kenshin took down Henchman #1. Using other lovely techniques of the Hiten Mitsurugi Ryuu, such as Ryu Kan Sen and Do Ryu Sen, the henchman and their boss were down. Kenshin sheathed his sakabatou and smiled. "See?" he said to the strewn bandits, "You should have left me alone, de gozaru ka." Kenshin walked off, leaving eight very puzzled men. The youngest got up. "You know what?" he said. "I'm think I'm just gonna go join my father in our family business." With that, the boy ran off.  
  
Kenshin, all rested up from his battle, ran. And ran and ran and ran and. well, you get the picture. He continued to run until he got to the Aoiya. Tired and hungry, he knocked on the door and collapsed. The door opened and a young girl's head popped out.  
  
"Oh my gosh!" she cried. "Himura! What are you doing here?"  
  
Kenshin looked up and said, "Food."  
  
Not even bothering to question the tired former-hitokiri, Makimachi Misao just dragged him inside. Bringing him into the dining room, she said, "Hey minna-san, our good friend Himura is here!"  
  
Okina, Oumime, Masukami, Shirojo, Kurojo, and Shinomori Aoshi looked up. Okina got up from his place and looked down at Kenshin.  
  
"Koban wa Himura-san," he said, "Long time no see."  
  
Kenshin, mustering up what strength he had left, got up said, "Koban wa Okina-dono. Forgive me, but can I have a bite to eat?"  
  
Misao and Okina nodded. "Of course Himura! If it wasn't for you then none of us would be able to eat, right guys?" Misao said, getting nods from everyone, except Aoshi, who just does not nod. (I wonder if he's human. Of course he is, he's one of my fav Bishounen!)  
  
**After they had eaten**  
  
Kenshin sighed. "Arigato gozaimasu. Unfortunately, I must leave, de gozaru."  
  
"How come?" piped Misao.  
  
"I must see Shishou. I have to ask him something that has been annoying me for a while, de gozaru."  
  
Okina chuckled. "Go on Himura-san. And when you're tired you can come back here to rest. We can't have you walk right back to Tokyo!"  
  
Kenshin bowed. "Arigato. Ja ne."  
  
So our beloved rurouni set off to Hiko's place (finally!). About five minutes after he had left, Kaoru, Yahiko, and Sano burst through the Aoiya doors. Startled, the members of the Oniwabanshu ran out to see what was going on. They met a very, very angry Kaoru.  
  
"WHERE'S KENSHIN?"  
  
Everyone sweatdropped, except for Aoshi, who just doesn't sweatdrop. "Uh, he went to go see his master about something." trailed Misao.  
  
"OK!" said Kaoru, turning around. Sano and Yahiko grabbed her kimono.  
  
Putting on a puppy dog look, Misao asked, "Won't you stay for tea?"  
  
Smiling, our beloved gluttons, Sano and Yahiko, nodded. Kaoru shook her head. Sano knocked on her head a bit before she gave in. Everyone smiling, except for Aoshi, who appears to have NO emotions whatsoever, went back inside for tea.  
  
*~*~*  
  
Hiko-sama was drinking sake. So what else is new? Then he stood up and turned around. "Koban wa, baka deishi. Did you bring me any sake?"  
  
"Koban wa Shishou. And why should I bring you any sake?"  
  
Hiko-sama sighed. "Baka deishi. So what do you want? You know the Amakakeru Ryu no Hirameki and you've beaten Amakusa Shougo. I have nothing else to tell or give you. So go away and let me drink my sake and make my pottery in peace."  
  
"Demo, Shishou, I want to ask you something very important, de gozaru." Kenshin trailed.  
  
"Spit it out baka. I don't have all day."  
  
"You know how the successor of the Hiten Mitsurugi Ryuu gets the name Hiko Seijuro? Well, I was wondering. what's your real name?"  
  
Hiko-sama froze. 'No, no, not that question!' he thought. 'I can't.its such a wimpy name. I'll just lie!' "Uh," Hiko-sama said, "my name? Uh, I.forgot?"  
  
Kenshin stared at his master. And stared and stared and. well, never mind. "Shishou," he said, "you are lying, de gozaru. You can still remember how much sake you bought ten years ago."  
  
Hiko-sama turned away. "Fine. My name is."  
  
Kenshin waited. And waited and waited and.  
  
"SHISHOU! Are you going to tell me or not?!"  
  
"Why should I tell my baka deishi, who's not really my baka deishi anymore, my real name? You don't need to know."  
  
Kenshin sighed. "You asked for it Shishou."  
  
Turning around to ask Kenshin what he was going to do, Hiko-sama saw his worst nightmare. Kenshin, looking as sad as possible, stared at Hiko- sama. Of all the things Hiko-sama could handle: bandits, broken pottery, his baka deishi, running out of sake, and killing to protect, a sad Kenshin was NOT one of them. Hiko trembled. Kenshin looked sadder.  
  
"AAAAAAAAARGH! NO MORE! I'LL TELL YOU! JUST DON'T LOOK SO SAD! I CAN'T TAKE IT!" yelled our beloved Hiko-sama.  
  
Kenshin smiled his cute little rurouni smile. Hiko coughed. "My real name is. Usagi!" He looked at Kenshin for a reaction.  
  
This is what happened. Kenshin's eyes grew wide, his mouth dropped, and his shoulders sagged. A huge, "ORO?" escaped his mouth and then he laughed. He laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed. Kenshin fell to the ground laughing.  
  
"NANI?! WHAT'S SO FUNNY?"  
  
Kenshin pointed to Hiko-sama. "YOU'RE A RABBIT!" he laughed. "Shishou. the thirteenth successor of the Hiten Mitsurugi Ryuu is. A RABBIT!" And with that, Kenshin managed to get up, and ran off to the Aoiya to tell everyone.  
  
'Oh crap,' thought Hiko. 'He'll tell them all!' "BAKA DEISHI!" he shouted, and ran after Kenshin at top speed.  
  
**At the Aoiya**  
  
Kenshin managed to get to the Aoiya before Hiko-sama. After getting hit several times by Kaoru for just running off like that, he told everyone. Everyone began to laugh except for Oumime, Masukami, and Aoshi, who just doesn't laugh. 'What a cute name,' Oumime and Masukami thought. The laughter ended when a very pissed of Hiko-sama showed.  
  
"Kenshin." he whispered. "ORO!" screamed Kenshin.  
  
"KUZU RYU SEN!"  
  
And the rest of the day was spent with Hiko-sama running after Kenshin, intent on killing him. During this time, Misao, Sano, and Yahiko pointed to Hiko and called, "Rabbit, rabbit, Hiko is a bunny rabbit!" In the end, Misao, Sano, Yahiko, and Kenshin were very, very, very bruised and beaten. So they all ended up staying at the Aoiya for a week, with Hiko- sama getting free sake. But when Kenshin and the others were ready to leave and were already started on the path, Kenshin turned around.  
  
"HIKO NO USAGI!" he shouted back, and began to run, an angry Hiko once again after his blood.  
  
A/N: Ohohohohohohohoho. Am I not cruel? Evil even. Let's all give a big hand to Aku-sama, who, being the luverly person she am, edited this and made it better! **Sweatdrops as she sees masses of Hiko fans with dangerous glints in their eyes holding up VERY sharp katanas** Ehehehe. Come on, so I gave Hiko-sama a wimpy name like Usagi. **Sees very angry Sailor Moon fans who are angry that I called the main character's name wimpy** Oh my. I just want to get hurt don't I? Such OOCness. maa, maa! Ja ne, minna-san! And don't try to kill me, onegai?! 


End file.
